"She Has Forgotten Me"
A piece about longing, loss and memory
"Valse no.1 (She'll Be Gone Soon)"
A waltz, based on a poem
Once I Was
A ballad which reflects on a life unlived
"Call Me When You're Falling Down"
An anthem about friendship
Thinking 'Bout Home
Maybe it's the cold wind And the chill on the first of autumn Or it's the boredom or how the leaves burn But I been thinking bout Going home Maybe it's the smell Of the world after rain on wet skin Or it's the sinners curse to do it all again But I been thinking bout going home Just like the rain, becomes the sea Now I’m alone, but soon I’ll be free In all that I am, all I could be All rivers come home, eventually Maybe it's the sight Of broken mothers with bright children Or it's the buildings abandoned at night But I been thinking bout going home Maybe it's the long nights trapped in my head In danger I’m a stranger in my body, in my bed Oh I been thinking bout going home Maybe it's the photograph I found Beneath the scrap heap Or it's sleep-lessness Wherever I roam But I been thinking bout home
Eye of the Storm
"Eye of the Storm", performed with the CLIC Sargent Singers in 2018 at Exeter Cathedral. Lyrics: It seems like a lifetime ago Breathing the hospital air Watching the leaves from the window Falling like severed hair Longing to lie in the ground Angry to have even been born But suddenly I have been found In the eye of the storm I shivered unclothed in an alley In the chill of industrial air I killed my mind, with smoke and wine And cursed the words that lingered there But I can be drunk when I dream I can be high evermore I don’t know what it means to the eye of the storm Chorus 1: And it seemed like I was lost But I was only in my mind And hope is not some thing you find It’s with you all the time Somewhere in another’s arms Lies an old lover of mine She whispers that I brought her harm And ran from the scene of the crime Leaving he broken like glass Standing alone in the dawn But I’ve got no place for the past In the eye of the storm I’ve been alone for so long Forgetting another’s touch Sometimes I feel like a shadow Sometimes I wish I was There’s too much I cannot forget Too many dreams to be mourned But I wash away my regrets In the eye of storm Chorus 2: And it seemed like I was lost But I was only in my mind And love is not some thing you find It’s with you all the time I looked for the stairs through the sky I read every map I could find I climbed & I searched & I tried When suddenly when I was struck blind And I saw, you don’t need to look far No, you don’t need to look at all The centre’s wherever you are In the eye of the storm Blindfolded, tasteless and dumb I struck out in anger and shame I smelt her perfume on the fire I heard it extinguished by rain But when I forgot my own name And knelt before sorrow’s scorn I learnt I was stronger than pain In the eye of the storm And it seemed like I was lost But I was only in my mind And home is not some thing you find It’s with you all the time Home is not something you find It’s with you all the time
Dear Lady Death (O Eden)
This is the title track from my one man show, "Dear Lady Death", my story of surviving a terminal diagnosis, told through music & poetry written in hospital. It's based on a dream I had, shortly before going into spontaneous remission. Lyrics: A dream of death A moonlight dance The room was wreathed in frankincense A desperate breath A stolen glance Into the dark Yeah I had some dark thoughts I have to confess When you were next to my bed In my black silk dress Chorus: Cos death has no religion, No meaning, They belong to god but I ain’t seen him Is she mother Mary, Or Mary Magdalen? Lady come and claim me O Eden ! Lady death Beneath my sheets Let me worship at your feet Lady death I believe Let me worship on my knees Chorus Lady death Take my Breath From my lips til there’s nothing left